Independence is Expensive

I wrote this when I was in college, those were the days when my parents were so strict to me:

Independence is Expensive

One Friday night, me and my friends decided to  relax and enjoy in a bar in Malate after a long week of exams. I pursued to go with them even though my parents didn’t allow me to gimmick. Without considering the permission and time, I went home late and drunk. Never had I felt more free and happier. Once again, I returned to my normal life the next day. My parents were very mad at me that they didn’t let me explain my side. It was one of the Martial Law days in our house. All my life, I want to experience being free and independent, standing on my own and voicing out anything in my mind without parents who will contradict me.

On most days, I had minimum hours of sleep and thought about nothing but lessons in school, to please myself and my parents, and to avoid conflict with them. One of the reasons why I want to be independent is to avoid conflicts with my parents. I can say that age gap can really results conflicts between parents and their children. I always have conflicts with them but with my mouth shut. I don’t consider a conflict as bad as long as I can give enough argument on what I stand for. For me, being independent is standing on your own – making decisions for yourself. I want to stand on my own as early as possible. Living at home may have advantages: free room and board and other benefits given by most parents which led to the dependence which is hard to break later on. I want to keep a watch on my money, time and action, and learn to get along with my parents. A life where I am the one to decide and to be blamed on all the consequences of my actions. This will prepare me to face the future alone courageously. It is also about the freedom that will make me decide to live independently. Living independently is doing anything you want with responsibility. At home, I have to ask my parents before doing anything. I couldn’t and wouldn’t live and ask them forever! They are here to guide but not to control me. I want to prove to myself especially to my parents that I can stand on my own and be responsible in anything I do. I could make mistakes, as part of life, but it will make me a better and stronger person to face challenges in the future like a bird starting to live away from its mother and facing the threats of its journey.

Reasons of being independent are many, and I think these reasons will cause a crack in a parent-child relationship. It is much better if parents let their children prove themselves. Children should escape from the shadow of their parents and express themselves to create a friendly relationship with them. I am not a rebellious child, I am undergoing this problem, and it’s not an easy one.

I’ve realized a lot after I wrote this essay. I learned to understand my parents and my parents learned to listen and understand me.