“The Key to Succeeding in Marriage is not finding the Right Person; It’s Learning to Love the Person You Found!”

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,

“How do I know if I married the right person?”

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,

“It depends. Is that your husband?”

In all seriousness, she answered

“How do you know?”

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind. Here’s the answer: EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love… because it’s happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say,

“I was swept off my feet.”

Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking,

“Did I marry the right person?”

And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages break down. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The Key To Succeeding In Marriage Is Not Finding The Right Person; It’s Learning To Love The Person You Found! SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love.” Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. You can “make” love. Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”… not just a feeling.

“Being happy doesn’t mean every thing’s perfect. It means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.”

13 thoughts on “DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? By Bro Bo Sanchez

  1. I am always inspire by the words of God through Bro BO. I pray that I would also bless and inspire other people through my own little way.

    • hi sister vilma….i have some questions about marriage…but i dont know whom to ask….can u tell me someone who can give me advise please?
      thank you.

    • the best way to make ur relationship go stronger everyday is to be with jesus coz nobody is perfect and if u include jesus in ur relationship as husband and wife then he will guide u both just like me coz so many friends of my husband ask me about us and my husband i know whats in there mind coz ralph is mean so i only tell them just include jesus in ur relationship that is ….

  2. Me and my partner are not married yet but we already have a kid (he’s about 3 months and 15 days old). And we are about to get married early next month, but I’m having second thoughts… We have been busy lately that we cannot go to church on sunday… But by reading this, it helped me a lot, been longing for enlightenment and I found it.. With God’s Wisdom I am HOME..

  3. 9 December 2010


    I beleive that WHEN GOD GAVE THE MAN TO ME it will be forever pero kapag pinilit lamang at gawa lamang ng tao asahan mo kalunkutan ito.


  4. What if you marry a person whom you love so much but after 13 years of being married he changed his religion and wanted to convince the family to be like him . . .

  5. Upon reading your article i’ve learned a lot me and my wife is on the stage of breaking up our relationship. Were married 7 yrs now and have blessed two angels. I now having second thoughts and don’t know what road to take. We had a fight a big one and she told me she’s on the stage of finding herself she wants to be alone so i give space were not talking we still lives in a same house its like im just a shadow and that i do not exist to her. I still love my wife though she’s keep on ignoring me and i’m at the edge of giving up. I’m holding back because of our kids I love them so much that i know i can sacrifice my happiness. This might help me on realizing the my situation but in realiity

  6. Nice and indeed inspiring… Although Attending the feast been a habbit, its also where I found to be inlove with someone who is already taken by another… I wish I could turn back time… I wish someone could give me something to look about… I am a Married Man who fell in love with a Married Woman… We Fell in love with each other

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