Comfort Zone

Benjamin Moore Paint Sample


Bic Razors


Outdoor Bridge for Adidas Soccer


Dropped Calls – Cingular


Bubble Gum

Fed Ex Shirt


Karate School Ad


Kinkos – white out


Lego Crane


Mr. Clean on a New York St .

To all Employees:

Effective May 2008

Dress Code

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor’s certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Holiday Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Compassionate Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use

1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.

2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.

3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the “Chronic Offenders” category.

4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break

1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

“Bad company corrupts good character” God loves you, whether you like it or not!

I received this e-mail from a friend…

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

1. EMERGENCY – The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out!

2. Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote keys? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock, saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other “remote” for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk). It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!”

3. Hidden Battery Power – Imagine your cell battery is very low, you are expecting an important call and you don’t have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery. To activate, press the keys *3370#, your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

4. How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone? To check your Mobile phone’s serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 # A, 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won’t get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can’t use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

Last week, I decided to put some movies in my iPod video. I love watching movies! I’d like to watch these movies especially if I get bored in the middle of the traffic:

License to Wed (Robin Williams, Mandy Moore) – This is a comedy with a touch of politics and religion movie. I’m interested to watch it because of Robin Williams. I really like him when it comes to acting.

Man of the Year (Robin Williams) – It’s Robin Williams’ movie again! He is a host who runs for Presidency and wins because of some error in the computerized voting system. I have watch the trailer of this movie before and I got interested in his comedic character.

Monster-in-Law (Jennifer Lopez, Jane Fonda) – A funny and romantic movie of a woman who finds the man of her dreams but struggles in dealing with her future mother-in-law.

Serendipity (John Cusack, Kate Beckinsale) – I have watched it many times and I’d love to watch it again and again. This is one of my favorite movies. Comedy, drama and romance in one. If you believe in fate, you’ll definitely love it.

50 First Dates (Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore) – Also my fave movie! I love watching it again, again and again. Perfect, I love it!

Bruce Almighty (Jim Carrey) – One of the best movies that really make me laugh to death. I remember when I watched this movie with my officemate, he almost cried laughing. Thumbs up for Jim Carrey! If you want to relax a bit, watch it!

Stomp the Yard (Columbus Short, Ne-Yo) – After I have watched Step Up 2, I got more interested in watching dramatical and musical movies like this. Since I can’t dance, I’d like to see the characters in this movie doing their moves and competing. =)

American Pie Beta House – I have watched the other American Pie movie series. This movie will surely be more funnier and wilder!